“To live in hearts, we leave behind is not to die.” Thomas Campbell

Have you ever experienced a loss so profound that it seemed to seep into every aspect of your life? No words can do justice to how someone feels after they lose their loved one. Grief touches everyone at some point and helps them grow as individuals. It snatches every bit of your happiness; everything comes crashing in front of your eyes, and the thought of continuing your life without them seems impossible. At first, may experience feelings of denial, and questions like, “Why did this happen to me?” surface in our minds, struggling to accept the reality of what has happened. It seems unfair that something like this has happened and that is when we feel furious. Bargaining emerges as an attempt to regain control, and that is when our minds are filled with thoughts of “what if.” We can reach despair as we process the true impact on our lives after they have passed. That’s when we start our journey of acceptance.

Grief is often characterized by feelings of sadness, loneliness, and eventually anxiety and anger. It can also lead to feelings of hopelessness, and we frequently find ourselves questioning the true meaning of life. The truth is, you never completely get over the loss of your loved ones, they become a part of you, a part of your broken heart and there comes a point where grief is what heals you. The intensity of our grief mirrors the fierceness of our love.

We all experience grief in our lifetimes through loss, change, and the emotional challenges that accompany significant life events. Whether it’s the loss of a parent, a spouse, a child, a pet, or, even a friend, bereavement is often the most difficult experience in a person’s life. A 2024 survey of 2000 people revealed, 86% of people over the age of 16 have experienced the loss of a loved one. These losses take on many forms: 45.5% of respondents reported losing a parent, 46% have lost a pet, and over one-third have faced the death of a close friend. These statistics gently highlight how common and significant grief can be in people's lives.

The Journey of Embracing & Accepting Grief

Losing a loved one can affect us in many ways, and grief touches not just our emotions but also our physical well-being. The sadness and stress of loss can manifest physically in a variety of ways, such as fatigue, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, and physical aches. These physical symptoms are often a reflection of the body's response to the emotional and mental strain caused by grief.

The most common physical impact is feeling tired all the time. The mental energy required to process grief can leave people feeling drained and unmotivated, making it difficult to keep up with daily responsibilities. It also weakens our immune system with headaches, muscle tension, and stomach aches being common manifestations of grief. Many people describe feeling as though they are in a "fog" during the grieving process, which can make simple tasks, such as reading or making decisions, feel overwhelming. This cognitive impairment can disrupt daily life, particularly when individuals need to balance grief with other life responsibilities. These difficulties are temporary, but they make the process even more challenging. There is no set time for us to overcome grief.

As you move forward, it can be helpful to remember that sorrow and joy can coexist. You can still find moments of happiness, laughter, and purpose even while carrying the weight of your loss. Life is filled with contrasts, and grief is no exception. There will be moments of sadness and moments of joy, and both are part of the human experience. By embracing both, you can begin to find balance in your life.

When we lose someone special, the pain may feel overwhelming and our natural response to it might be to push those feelings away. However, grief needs to be acknowledged. By accepting it, we give ourselves the time and space to feel the pain and heal from it. It’s essential to allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions without guilt or shame.

Accepting grief helps us honor the depth of our love, often at the root of our sorrow. It is the reflection of love and attachment. It signifies the importance of the indelible bond you have had with your loved one. By embracing it, we allow ourselves to honor what was lost, to reflect upon its significance, and gradually integrate it into our life story.

Do We Overcome Grief?

The idea of “overcoming” grief suggests that we somehow can get past it or get rid of it, as if grief is a problem or hurdle that needs to be overcome. Rather than fading away completely, grief often finds a way to settle and change as time goes on. It may never go away completely, but it evolves and becomes manageable as we learn to live with it. Initially, grief may seem like a challenge, but eventually, it becomes the ladder with which one can grow in life. The initial stage of grief usually is overwhelming, making it impossible for us to go back to “normalcy” but as time passes, the intensity of it decreases making it possible for us to go on with life. It doesn’t mean that the pain is gone or that you will never feel disheartened again, but it simply means you have learned how to live with it. Grief can become a source of strength and growth, deepening our empathy, resilience, and appreciation for life. It reminds us of the love we experienced and shapes how we move forward in life.

Nurturing Your Heart and Mind

Taking care of yourself during this difficult time is incredibly important to find peace. Here are some ways to take care of yourself while grieving:

1. Permit yourself to feel

Feel what you need to feel. There are no right or wrong feelings during grief. You may feel numb, angry, empty, depressed, confused, etc. Whatever you’re feeling is okay. Avoid suppressing these emotions and feelings. Bottling it up may delay the process of healing and can intensify your pain. One needs to reflect on meaningful ways to overcome the burden of the loss.

2. Don’t set a timeline for yourself and make time to grieve

Grief is not linear. There is no timeframe for how long you should grieve. Remind yourself that grief may come and go and you have the right to take the time you need. Pushing your grief deep down and not addressing it won’t allow you to heal. Don’t busy yourself too much trying to bury your grief. Take a moment throughout the day, to sit down and let yourself feel those emotions. You don’t have to act upon it, but let yourself feel it to finally get to the day where it doesn’t hurt as much as it did earlier.

3. You are not alone!

While it is important to have moments of solitude, talking about your emotions to someone can make you feel less alone. Communicate with your family or friends about it, the more you talk, the easier it gets. Some may also seek professional help during times like these, which is understandable as grief may get heavy to bear alone. One can join grief support groups or take therapy.

4. Create a Routine

Establishing a simple routine during this time is a small step towards normalcy. While everything feels chaotic, incorporating simple habits regularly provides a structure to your day-to-day life which can be comforting. Eating regular meals, exercising for 30 minutes every day, meditating, and reading; it could offer small moments of comfort.

5. Embrace the practice of mindfulness

Mindfulness helps you stay present and aware of your emotions without having any sort of judgments. By focusing on your present, one can gently articulate their emotions. Writing down your feelings can be a powerful way to release pent-up emotions and reflect on your grief journey. Journaling helps you process thoughts that may be hard to express verbally and allows you to explore your feelings at your own pace. It’s a beautiful way to feel heard and understood.

6. Create Gentle Boundaries

It is common to feel exhausted and drained by social obligations during this time. It is completely okay to set boundaries to protect your energy and your emotional well-being. Let people know you need time and space, to avoid engaging in conversations that may feel overwhelming. Take time for yourself and step away from social invitations if you feel you are not ready yet.

7. Be Kind to Yourself

Grief can trigger feelings of self-doubt, especially if you're questioning how you handled your loved one's passing away or your relationship with them. In times like these, it’s important to practice self-compassion. Everyone has a different journey whilst dealing with grief, allow yourself to grieve in the way that feels most natural to you.

8. Nurture the awakening of your senses

Expose yourself to a variety of sensory activities that bring you comfort. For example, taste or smell different foods, feel soft fabrics, smell flowers, sit by the water, or watch the sunset. Tune into your senses to find what brings you the most comfort.

Healing Through Life’s Simple Moments

During this time, rays of hope might not come from grand gestures but from the simple moments of our daily routine and life. We often overlook these moments and immerse ourselves in despair, but little things are the very spaces from where healing begins to take root. The first step towards healing is slowing down and being present. It’s important to be mindful of grounding yourself in the here and now, while healing can slowly unfold. For instance, something as small as having a cup of coffee, or feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin can remind you that there is still beauty in the world, even amid heartache. These little moments can help anchor you when the waves of grief feel overwhelming.
Nature, too, can be a powerful healer. There’s something profoundly soothing about the natural world, whether it’s the sound of birdsong, the rustling of leaves, or the feeling of the earth beneath your feet. Spending time in nature allows for a deeper connection with the world around you, providing a sense of peace and perspective. You can find a space to be quiet, to reflect, and to heal without pressure or expectation.

Weaving Their Memory into Your Daily Life

In our journey through life, the bonds we form with loved ones leave an indelible mark on our hearts. When we experience loss, finding ways to honor those we’ve loved becomes a crucial part of the healing process. One meaningful way to keep their memory alive is through the use of cremation urns, which serve as heartfelt reminders of the lives we cherished. Whether through small rituals or cherished mementos, the act of remembering can bring comfort and a sense of connection to the one who is no longer among us.

Cremation urns provide a sense of comfort and closure, offering a space to honor and remember a loved one. Incorporating an urn into your home can transform it into a sanctuary of memories. Placing the urn in a meaningful location, be it a family room, garden, or personal space, creates a daily reminder of your loved one’s presence. This simple act can foster a sense of connection, encouraging conversations about their lives, sharing anecdotes, and celebrating their legacy.

Rituals and memorial gifts help many people cope with the pain of losing a loved one. Taking part in meaningful actions, like lighting a candle, holding a memorial service, or visiting a favorite place of the person who passed, can bring comfort. These rituals allow people to feel connected to their loved ones and provide a sense of healing over time. Memorial gifts, such as personalized urns or cremation jewelry, also offer comfort during grief. It’s important to remember that healing doesn’t mean forgetting. Their memory stays with you, giving you strength as you find the path forward.

Conclusion

As your heart screams with sadness, let it stand as a testimony to your capacity to love deeply, fully, and entirely. Grief is a reminder that even when faced with the most profound sorrow, it is possible to find hope and a renewed sense of purpose. The process is not linear, however, with time, we can gradually find ways to integrate their loss and move forward in life. This doesn’t mean that the pain is gone, it simply becomes less overwhelming and more manageable. Grief reminds us, that even in the darkest of times, there’s always a ray of hope that will help us heal and guide us back home.